—Couple’s Therapy

Break the cycle. Reconnect, heal, and transform your most important relationships.

What is Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)?

EFT is a structured approach to couples therapy formulated in the 1980’s. The model has developed alongside the science of adult attachment and bonding to expand our understanding of what is happening in couples’ relationships.

EFT for Couples sees distress in relationships as centered in the loss of secure emotional connection, and that a negative cycle is established when that loss of connection is experienced. These cycles are often characterized by anger, criticism, leaving, or appearing indifferent, to name a few. Once established, these cycles can crop up over the slightest issue, and over time can be corrosive to the bonds of trust and security in the relationship. These negative cycles can also impact a couples sexual relationship, leaving couples feeling anxious, shutdown, or rejected. EFT aims to help couples recognize and stop these negative cycles by first identifying and mapping out this cycle, then helping couples identify and articulate their needs and clarify their emotional signals in a way that helps their partner to have greater understanding, compassion and responsiveness. In turn, a more secure, strong resilient bond is cultivated. This process leaves room for couples to experience one another in new ways, and can be powerfully transformative in relationships.

The Three Stages of EFT

Stage 1: Recognize Negative Patterns

In the first stage, the focus is on helping couples to better understand the negative patterns of interacting and communicating that they repeatedly get stuck in. In stage one, key goals include helping couples to:

  • Better understand negative patterns of communication

  • Better understand what underlying feelings feed into conflict

  • Experience less conflict

  • Experience “more space” to begin to talk more deeply about important topics in the relationship

Stage 2: Create New Patterns

In the second stage, the focus is on creating new, more effective, and more emotionally satisfying ways of interacting and communicating together. Key goals include:

  • Helping each partner to see the other in a different, more understanding light

  • Helping each partner to feel more safe and secure in talking about very important things

  • Helping couples to feel more bonded and close again, or even closer than they ever have been

  • Helping couples to feel that sense of specialness and being valued again

Stage 3: Clarity and Preparedness

In the third stage, the focus is on building upon the gains that have already been made, and applying them directly to more specific issues within the relationship. Key goals include:

  • Having a clear sense of the old, negative pattern of interaction and communication.

  • Having a clear sense of the new, positive ways of interacting

  • Confidence about having the skills and strategies to help maintain these positive interactions together

  • Feeling prepared to end therapy with a hopeful outlook for the future

Break the cycle and reignite your spark.

Reach out today for a free consultation.