Humans are social creatures. Relationships drive us, light us up, hurts us, help us – for most folks they an essential aspect of life. And the reasons why they are easy or hard, why they last or don’t, can be mysterious or difficult to understand.

My therapy practice focuses on helping folks improve and better understand their relationships. I offer relational therapy for individuals as well as couples. I can help you have better relationships of all types:

• Romantic & Sexual – Dating, Love, Partnership(s)

• Friendships

• Family – Parents, Siblings, Children

• Work

One of the most important lessons to be learned about relationships is that the single common factor in all your relationships is you. Of course, this doesn’t mean that you are responsible for everything and anything that occurs in your relationships. But seeing how you show up in your relationships – what you believe about yourself, what you assume about others, and how you act as a result – is something that you can change.

Some of the areas of relationships that I work with people on are:

• Communication

• Self-Esteem & Self-Worth

• Conflict

• Sexuality & Intimacy

• Healthy Boundaries

• Advocating for Yourself

• Balancing Other’s Needs with Your Needs

I was formally trained to provide EMDR by The EMDR Institute.

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy helps children and adults of all ages.

EMDR therapy is an extensively researched, effective psychotherapy method proven to help people recover from trauma and other distressing life experiences, including PTSD, anxiety, depression, and panic disorders.

Stress responses are part of our natural fight, flight, or freeze instincts. When distress from a disturbing event remains, the upsetting images, thoughts, and emotions may create an overwhelming feeling of being back in that moment or of being “frozen in time.” EMDR therapy helps the brain process these memories and allows normal healing to resume. The experience is still remembered, but the fight, flight, or freeze response from the original event is resolved. The individual then has less painful reactions and symptoms in the here and now.

Therapists use EMDR therapy to address a wide range of challenges:

• Anxiety, panic attacks, and phobias

• Chronic Illness and medical issues

• Depression and bipolar disorders

• Dissociative disorders

• Eating disorders

• Grief and loss

• Pain

• Performance anxiety

• Personality disorders

• PTSD and other trauma and stress-related issues

• Sexual assault

• Sleep disturbance

• Substance abuse and addiction

• Violence and abuse

Worry is a normal, healthy, and adaptive emotion. Worry allows us to identify potential threats in our environment and can provide motivation to ensure that we prepare or perform adequately when under pressure. However, worry becomes unhealthy when it shifts to anxiety.

Chronic anxiety is oftentimes intertwined with a chronically agitated nervous system. My approach to treating anxiety is highly somatic, meaning I work with you to improve your relationship with your body. I will provide you with tools and relaxation strategies to soothe your nervous system, decrease hypervigilance to potential threats, and change negative expectations that may be fueling your anxiety.

Depression oftentimes comes in two forms:

• Depression following an acute life event, such as the loss of a loved one, a breakup, a major transition in life, or changing jobs.

• Chronic depression that oftentimes seems to have a mind of its own and is pervasive across time and contexts.

The pandemic has of course led to an increase in depression for a variety of reasons, not limited to grief and loss as well as the fact that for many the structure of their lives was suddenly thrown out the window.

I work with clients to help identify where they are “stuck” in their depressive symptoms, and ultimately ally with you to find ways to make it through. We focus on your values and develop your personal philosophy of living (i.e., what’s the point??) to inform a plan. I’m willing to wade through the muck with you, so you don’t have to figure it out alone.

There are a lot of theories about how much or in what frequency we should eat, when we should sleep, and how we should move our body’s (not to mention opinions about how our bodies should look).

I don’t subscribe to any particular theory, but rather I am more interested in understanding what’s normal for you and what your values are. If your sleeping behaviors, eating habits, or physical activity levels have changed significantly due to stress or life changes, let’s talk about how to get you back on track. If you’ve always struggled to maintain healthy habits, let’s figure out how to establish a sustainable, healthy routine.

Queer Men’s Group

This group provides an affirming space for Queer identified men to discuss personal challenges and cultivate community. Members will have the opportunity to grow their connection with others by exploring their intersectional identities, practicing emotional support and vulnerability, and identifying ways to engage in self/community-care. This group is open to anyone who identifies as a man and holds a Queer identity (e.g., men who identify as a sexual and/or gender minority; LGBTQIAP+).

Time: Wednesdays, 6:15pm – 7:45pm

Cost: $75 per session (Superbills offered for OON benefits)

Location: 2319 N 45th St, Suite 208 Seattle, WA 98103

Facilitator: Alexander Shappie, Ph.D.